Hate Mail

November 2006

There IS a God
This is a post by a Dresden Doll’s fan, AN EX FAN.

“Did you ever notice that most of the posts in this community are by Dresden Dolls fans and not DD haters?

Apparently we spend all our time meticulously discussing the flaws of Amanda and Brian, all day every day, and they have real lives. Y’know, the kind that involve going to lots of shows and wearing music as a badge of intellectuality and individuality.

(Yes, I realize last time I posted here I was a Dresden Dolls fan. That phase of my life lasted for a glorious two weeks, after which I realized I only thought I liked them because I am instantly attracted to piano music.) I mean honestly I am not saying that I have more of “a life” than DD fans or DD fans who post here or even debating whether “having a life” is a necessity. I just think it’s interesting.”

This shows it, that the Dresden Dolls’ music is designed to lure people into liking them for no reason at all, which is expressed through the fact that every Dresden Dolls’ fan I ask about this phenomenon has nothing to say about why they like their Music. This is because the Band don’t have good music, they just look good. Dresden Dolls fans are just as shallow as Hilary Duff fans and Backstreet Boys Fans, except Hilary and those faggets can still actually sing.

Maybe it is a ploy by the record companies? Insteading of finding vocalists that can sing well, write about nothing at all very impressive, and dress them nicely. Find talentless dikes and guys that look like serial killers, dress them in a strange way, and hey, THE GOTH KIDS ARE NOW REALLY CONFORMING TO EVERYONE ELSE, LISTENING TO BRAINLESS GANDER LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

So with this, I wonder what the next cool fashion will be that the next generation of non-conformists will go to. Modern Gothic stuff started in the early 80s with the few post-punk bands becoming the Gothic music genre’. Of course all this originated from the gothic novel genre founded by Walpole, a really cool writer and all. Lets face it, once upon a time Gothic was cool, but now it is going to the trash can with rock’n’roll, hip-hop, disco, techno, and of course The White Stripes.

Nonetheless, a perfect candidate can be found going back to Gothic ‘Culture’ and its very roots. There was a great rivalary to the Goths back in 267 AD. They were the Vandals, and they are also really cool. So now we just need our own literature genre, our own Music offshoot, and our own FASHION. How cool will that be?

No, Dresden Fans are NOT Invited to This Event

Firstly, I am going to coin the musical founding Vandal Subculture (as opposed to Gothic Subculture) as when the band Children Of The Anachronistic Dynasty (later TexAnds, and eventually… Tool. This can be said to expand into another band A Perfect Circle. Along with that are a few others inbetween this gap, Alice In Chains, Sonic Youth, Rage Against The Machine, and others. We can then expand this further into bands like Tool, Medicine, Lusk, Failure, Blinker The Star, Autolux, Self, and Feersum Ennjin.

Novels? I have no idea yet. Send me in that one for our Vandals subculture and I am happy for you.

Fashion? No idea either.

See, if we form our own subculture (Dresden Dolls fans Excluded) all shall be fine, and we can form our own circles of friends that are part of this, and Dresden Fans are not, along with other retards.

November 2006

Someone has kindly posted an uncyclopedia article on Amanda!!!

Amanda’s: click here
“Amanda’s relationship with Brian offstage has been widely speculated about, but Amanda has refused to say anything concrete. “We’re just friends,” she insists, “friends who have naked photoshoots and makeout and have sex regularly….It is rumored that Amanda had affairs with all members of Nine Inch Nails except Aaron North, because he’s too short (Trent Reznor refuses to comment, claiming it will ruin his industrial image.) It’s also said she’s slept with Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross of Panic at the Disco! because they’re the only ones that matter anyways….”

August 2016

Hello, I notice that you dont have any hate email up for August of 2006 so I thought Id send some along. I dont like musicals. I like your album even less. Need I say more? Ok, if you insist. Some people are prejudiced against certain races, some are prejudiced against certain sexual preferences, Im prejudiced against plays that have spoken words (Ive yet to see one I liked) and worse yet (GASP!) songs. I do like music though, but not your music.
Im not usually into violent imagery, but when Im forced to listen to your album I start channeling violent thoughts about what Im going to do to the cd when I get it out of the CD player.
Ill kill it.
I will be not merciful.
I will eviscerate it. Slowly.
I will make it suffer for all the joy it has taken out of my life.
I will make its last moments on this earth filled with excruciating pain, pain so torturous that it will wish it had never been burned with such accursed music.
I will leave it in agony, worse than the agony known to the Sabine Women, worse than the agony known to John Holwell in Calcutta, worse even than the agony of those forced to sit through the musical Rent
Enough said.

July 2006

I recently attended one of your shows with Panic! at the Disco in Pittsburgh. I have enjoyed your music in the past, and tend to find it to be a breath of fresh air in a rock scene that makes me want to stab out my ear drums with knives. Unfortunately, you (Amanda) felt the need to emphasize the fact that the Marines were in attendance at the venue, and dedicated your cover of War Pigs to them. I understand that you have an issue with authority and its oppressive qualities, blah blah blah, but I would like you to know that your dedication was the biggest load of bullshit Ive ever heard in my life. It isnt the fact that I have a strong appreciation for the servicemen of our country, but it is your extreme ignorance that makes my blood boil so rapidly. I would have thought more of you and your intelligence, but apparently I was fooled. Those that serve our county do far more than drum up wars and bring death and destruction. Criticize our government, the current administration, anyone in authoritative positions, but criticizing those that would lay down their lives to defend your right to say whatever the fuck you want is just ridiculous. A close friend of mine spent months burying bodies after the Tsunami and provided relief for survivors, while you were off writing and playing little songs. Here is an additional link demonstrating my point. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,204533,00.html Of course all of the brainwashed 15 year olds in the audience found it amusing, but those of us in the audience that are able to think for ourselves were able to see through the steaming pile of shit you laid out on the stage. Perhaps that was your plan all along, play up the crazy card that youve been dealing out, and say something so entirely absurd that we appreciate your music like one would appreciate oil on canvas by Van Gough. I have a better idea; he cut off his ear and now everyone remembers him, so equivalently it would be appropriate for you to take out an eye and send it to an estranged lover and everyone will remember you. That would probably be a better attention getter than laying out your ignorance for the world to see. Those that you criticize and demean will do more to help the world than you could ever dream of, and for that I hope you are truly ashamed of yourself. I am well aware that this will not appear in your hate mail as to not make yourself look like an ass, but I hope you take these words into consideration the next time you are putting down honorable people to show everyone how badass you are. And please, for your own good, open a newspaper and stop sounding like an asshole.

July 2006

follow-up from a fan:

Hey. Was recently cruising through the DD website, and I chanced upon the section of hatemail regarding you and your dedication of “War Pigs” to the troops. Now, at first, not being familiar with the exact lyrics, this seems like a horrific and hateful thing… upon further examination, I realized this is a dedication/support of the troops(basically, it’s not really their fault that they’re out there being forced to do stupid things… they basically just sign up to try and help, and then get sent wherever…) Anyway, I believe alot of people, the poor guy who wrote that piece of mail itself, may not be quite in vibe with the actual point of the dedication… it’s a shame to have anyone painting you as a hatemonger merely because they are uninformed. I would suggest, perhaps, informing them. As much as it might make sense to merely scorn them, it seems irresponsible somehow… if nobody ever tells them the truth, expecting them to stumble upon it is unrealistic(that’s why schools teach facts, instead of merely giving the scientific method in kindergarten and letting children loose upon the world). It’s again one of those cases where, if I was not so well-informed about your persona, I would, in fact, be horrified, and nothing more; the shock value of “Sing” and “Mrs. O” versus the concept the guy percieved is the only reason I even thought to look… appears very out-of-character to the attentive, but the world is not so. Maybe it’s just random babbling, but I was actually sorry to have ever admitted you guys are my fav band, for a whole 15 minutes. That feeling sucked for me, and I imagine it would suck for anyone else in the same or similar positions–hence the suggestion. Other than that, I hope your tour goes well… also, try to come back to Florida some time, you haven’t been here in almost 2 years. Where’s the love????

Beyond that, I’m sorry this isn’t quite up-to-par with my normal letters, but I’m a bit tired at the moment.

Best regards ~xxx

response from amanda:

hey – just so you know: it was my idea of a joke that went over most of the underage heads there. the fact that the marines (and the army, actually) were recruiting at a rock show where the average age was 13-14 sat about as well with me as that despicable US Army advertisement i remember seeing in a teen girls magazine a few years back. it featured a close-up photograph of a young girls hand wearing camouflage nail polish and stated something along the lines of “who says joining the army isn’t totally as rad as getting a manicure??” to the boys and girls out there, cheers and i hope you come home, in sound mind and body. but to the recruiters, i must say i’m sort of revolted with your presence at my rock show. we almost didn’t play. if it had been our headlining show, we wouldn’t have.
fyi, for my own curiosity, i just tried to google that ad but came up with this instead, from a US military website (http://www.military.com/MilitaryCareers/Content/0,14556,MPDC_AirForce_Officer_News_021006-2,00.html). classic. read the part about the nail polish, i guess the camo-color nail polish is a no-no once you join the ranks of the air force:

This session of the Air Force Uniform Board included a special panel that was specifically chartered to make recommendations regarding updates/revisions to uniform standards affecting women Airmen. After careful review, the board approved several changes that affect women specifically:

  • “Scrunchies” are prohibited.
  • Hairpins and bands must match hair color.
  • Hair color, frosting and highlights will not be faddish and will match natural hair colors, i.e. blonde, brunette, natural red, black or gray.
  • No shaved head or flat top hairstyles for women.
  • Synthetic hair can be worn, as long as it meets safety and mission requirements.
  • Braids, micro-braids and cornrows are authorized.
  • Nail polish will not contrast with complexion or detract from the uniform. Nor is polish of extreme color, such as purple, gold, black, blue or any florescent color, authorized. Nail polish will also be limited to one color.
  • French manicures are allowed, but fingernail length in all instances will not exceed one-quarter inch beyond the fingertip.
  • In addition to clutch-style purses, purses with no more than two straps are authorized with mess dress.
  • Earrings will be small spherical, conservative diamond, gold, white pearl or silver with any uniform combination and must be worn as a set. For those with multiple ear piercing, only one set of earrings will be worn in the lower earlobe and will also conform to these earring wear standards when performing duty in civilian clothes.
  • Male flight cap is optional.

June 2006

Lol! I saw some article where you plainly abuse Avril Lavigne’s Music. Have you checked your own music resently
It’s the most boring uncreative shit i have ever heard. No wonder people stick to the corporate scene when this is the kind of bullshit people offer in terms of alternative music.
Lol. Good Luck go off and abuse other CREATIVE ARTISTS much like Avril, Lets see??? Abuse Michelle Branch? Amy Lee, Cristina Scabbia, Madonna? WHYYY!! Because they have made it and you are still doing second rate shows. LOL Supporting Panic at the disco so i hear? ROTFL GREAT TWO
SUCKY UNCREATIVE BASTARDS IN ONE SHOW. That should go down a treat. I sincerly hope The venue gets bombed and anyone there for actually going to see it.
You also bitched about people not realizing real music?! Haha what the fuck is your music exactly?
Just getting all Jealous because Avril Lavigne is more creditable than you… Really Pathetic.
But wait. Maybe theres more.
Shes also prettier than BOTH members of this band. Hell her band are even prettier.
“Avril Lavigne appeals to 14 year olds” — Statement from one of your interviews.
Avril Lavigne – Nobody’s Home. A song striking issues surrounding homelessness and pain? 14 year olds? LOL i dont think so. JUDGE stuff once you have actually listened to it you fucking moron.
You have songs about dildos and stds. LOL.. yeah.. Avril certainly wins on creativity too. The lyrics from your shit appeals to sex obsessed 12 yr olds who like a laugh at something. Thats if they can get past the awful music.
Get over it. You are the worst Act i have ever heard.
Avril Lavigne is WAY better than you. BUT.. eh So are The Backstreet Boys. And THEY FUCKING BLOW. 😐
GOoDByE You Ugly looking fuck and the hairy french lookin chinese chick. BuhBye.

April 2006

You guys suck my hairy beanbag. This shithead in my work (where we have an employee playlist on all the time) keeps putting coin-operated boy on the playlist. I hate you, i hate her, i hate that she thinks she is a bible chucker but cannot see that the song is about vibrators because the female in the band looks like german gestapo unshaven monkey shit. the dude in the band is a coin operated child molester. eat shit and die, seriously fuck off or be cool and eliminate that song from ever existing. keep dreaming of rubber, the rest of us men will put our money on vagina operated vaginas. holy shit you are bad musicians.

March 2006

Hey your music is ok even though amanda could get better at the piano but i sincerely hope that you never ever ever attempt to play a black sabbath song ever again. Leave real music to the real muscicians

October 2005

June 2005

Not to point fingers but how did you ever convince Trent Reznor to let you tag along with him. Your music isn’t all that bad in A faggot way but what the fuck was Trent fucking thinking when he agreed to let you tag along to collect a couple bucks off of his music. Your music is better left underground where it should be. Please never advertise it in public again. Seriously it sucks

June 2005

U guys really suck, and your opening for nails!!!!, could you plase do something like kill yourselves,before you come to toronto, seeing you would probabnly ruin my life

June 2005

What is the deal with the jeep shit?

June 2005

Guys. PLEASE re-design your website, it’s probably the worst one I have ever visited. On broadband, it runs obnoxiously slow, and having to roll-over pictures to figure out how to navigate completely blows. I can’t even really read the text on this screen because it’s purple against black..

I came here interested in finding more out about the band because of their association with the NIN tour, but navigating this site is such a pain I figured my energy was better invested in writing you guys. Seriously, you’re going to get a whole lot of traffic because of NIN, make your site easy to enjoy instead of an excercise in pain!

June 2005

i pray Trent Reznor had no part in choosing you as the guest apperance… hate to say, but your style is for the young and oblivious… it’s been done, all too much… it’s OLD! i’ve made better music by sampling my shitty flatulents and sequencing them without sound… i will give you some credibility for trying to produce, but try s new avenue… see you in atlanta, twice, unfortunately (only for nin…Trent, you lucky bug…i loves ya)

An entire forum devoted to DD bashing


April 2005

hello. i have just read the lyrics to your song ‘bad habit’. i would just like to ask you how you can justify writing a song that glorifies self harm like this? do you have any idea how many impressionable children your music will have an impact on? yes, children…do you want to be responsible for a load of CHILDREN getting into the vicious cycle of self harm because of a song that YOU wrote? lyrics like “when i open a familiar scar, pain goes shooting like a star, comfort hasn’t failed to follow so far…” tell kids that if they want comfort they should cut themselves, how can you tell kids that?!? i can’t express how fucking disgusted i am that you think this is a good song to put out there when people look to music to help them. i know that after saying all this, you probably won’t reply but i would really like to know how you can sleep at night

amanda responds:

You may find it enlightening and amusing to know that this song was actually not inspired by the idea of cutting oneself. I have this terrible habit of picking off the skin around my fingernails…with my teeth, with my nails, and occasionally with a sharp object lying around. I can see how you would interpret the lyrics that way, and I’m glad the song provoked you enough to write to us. There are plenty of people out there, many of them children, practicing real self harm that may actually find comfort in an artist expressing the anguish that accompanies any sort of self-destructive bad habit, and knowing that I may provide that comfort means that I sleep very well at night, indeed.

p.s. “censorship is to art as lynching is to justice” – henry louis gates

March 2005

i hate to say this because you used to be my favorite band but why the foe do you have to take all these identity exploiting pictures that make you seem oh so goth and sexual what happened to the good old local band who liked to dress up instead of using your image and going on tour with nine inch nails (who suck)please dont have an over dramatic and moaning new cd

March 2005

is girl arachnia straight from the heart, or are you using mental instability as an angle just to be unusual. i love your music but seriously im curious. no offence you just seem like spoilt sophisticated young people with to much time on your hands. or are you really the freaks you appear to be

amanda comments:

we’ve been getting all sorts of ?schizophrenic hate mail? like this. We could start a new section called ?lovehatemail? or ?hatelovemail? but since we’re lazy, it’s all winding up here. Enjoy!

March 2005

you guys are straight up the worst band i’ve ever heard in my life i fucking hate you guys for polluting good rock radio stations if you ever come to atlanta call me up 678-XXX-XXXX and i’ll fuckin beat your ass unless your a fuckin pussy and won’t fight me so fuck you and fuck off you fuckin gothic bitches

January 2005

your cover of War Pigs sucks. It’s really bland and unoriginal. I could probably do a better job of it and I’m not even in a band. Next time don’t disrespect Black Sabbath like that.
Thanks, Dan

the band responds:

Hi Dan!
We’d love to hear your recording once you start a band! We also thought you might like to know that we bite the heads off bats and, occasionally, snort ants.
please send disc to:
c/o Madison House
4760 Walnut St. #106
Boulder, CO 80301

January 2005

Its obvious that you fully bastardized the look of the beautiful, original Cinema Strange. How you speak of the Weimar Berlin /German Cabaret, its movement and fashion, how you diliberetally expose this to the media, spreading this disease of false little girls dressing like Russian dolls that don’t have enough interest to read about this movement, but only to wear the fashions of the era. It disgusts me, how you both don’t notice how much damage you are doing to those of whom kept this lifestyle SACRED. I thought once how the strange and oddly macabre would cease become the next trend, but, thanks to your unconcerned, overly-processed, unoriginal music and appearance, you have blindly contributed and created yourselves trendsetters to this horrid, unimaginative society. Thank you.

January 2005

You named yourself after a fictional family that continually had incestual relationships. Do your fans even have enough brain cells to know that your name is stolen from Flowers In The Attic? It’s sad when people think they are so original and intelligent but they just steal ideas from other people.

November 2004

wow, I hate your music, Never come to Ohio, NEVER.
Go get a coin maker and shove it IN your boy. ewww

From The Noise, February 2003

T Max,

It always amazes me how easily impressed Boston audiences are. Especially when it comes to an act like the Dresden Dolls, who are not only mediocre as a duo, but totally unoriginal as well.

Amanda and Brian as John and Yoko…puhleez. Your magazine gives so much attention to people who pretty much suck. But then again, that?s what The Noise is all about, right? Amanda can’t get through a show without trying to shock people. Maybe no one told her but the whole exhibitionist thing has been done and is pretty tired. I went to 2 of their shows with the hopes that maybe she would actually do something different, but oh well. Even Madonna had to give up after a while.

Singing in a fake English accent has never impressed me. And her piano playing is atrocious. It’s obvious that the real brains and the real musician in that band is Brian (stellar drummer by the way, too bad is playing is totally mocked by Miss Palmer).

I can’t help but wonder…if Amanda didn’t act like a total ass, or rather, an attention-starved daddy’s girl, flaunting her flabby, hairy body to everyone and playing herself off to be “a performance artist” would anyone care? In other words, when you take away the cheesy goth theatrics and the whole I-have to-be-as-weird-as-possible persona, does their music even have a leg to stand on?

Perhaps there is talent beneath the arrogant, pretentious blank stare, but as long as she insists on cheapening herself and her music (wanna advertise your blow-job skills? print an ad in Erosphere), Dresden Dolls will never be more than a big fish in a very small pond.

There are so many truly original, ass-kicking female artists and you never write about them, But, hey, as long as it makes Amanda Palmer Happy, that’s all that really matters, right?

-Tara Hensley